Alva Review-Courier -

Some celebrities are very personable and approachable. One of the best at accommodating autograph hounds was “the King” of golf, Arnold Palmer. Unfortunately, he passed from this life a short while ago in 2016. During his playing days, Palmer was famous for staying for hours after a tiring day of tournament golf, making a monumental effort to give his autograph to every fan who wanted one. He did his best to make each signature appear legible, and as close to his other signatures as possible. If you happen to see one of his (alleged) signatures that appears misshapen or hurriedly scribbled, it’s most likely not legit.

Another of golf’s real gentlemen is native Australian, Ian Baker Finch, who is now one of the game’s premier announcers. During his playing days on the pro tour, he won 17 PGA tournaments, including one major event, The (British) Open.

Once when Patti and I were attending the Colonial tournament in Fort Worth, she tried to get an autograph from Finch just prior to his leaving the practice ground for the first tee – which is a big “No-No” for golf fans. At such times, pro golfers are trying to prepare themselves mentally after warming up, so that they can make a good start on the first hole. Fans are not supposed to seek signatures after a player enters his golf cart to head for the first tee. Any lateness of the competitor at this point could draw the ire of the tournament starter, and penalties for a player missing his assigned tee time can include disqualification.

For once I was the marital partner who was thoroughly mortified by actions of the other. But Finch immediately must have sensed that Patti was a relative new comer to professional golf settings. He quickly said it was all right, and motioned for her to join him in the cart. He had her sit next to him, and began to converse with her quietly. He made a point of asking if she was enjoying being at the tournament.

After a few moments of very pleasant conversation, he signed her program, and again told her that he hoped she would have a good time. Then after bidding both of us goodbye, he headed for the first tee, leaving two awe struck fans in his wake. Over the succeeding decades, I have tried to emulate his conduct in similar circumstances. Unfortunately in too many situations, I must say too many of my efforts fell short.

Oh, I’d better mention something else lest you get the impression that Ian Baker Finch has never done anything in the least untoward or risqué. Patti and I were following Finch in the same tournament while he played the tenth through the sixteenth holes. (I really didn’t have any choice in the matter – women are so easily impressed by good manners.) On the par three 13th hole, which plays over a lake, his teeball wound up near the green, but lay partially submerged in the lake.

Not wanting to get his immaculate slacks soiled with muddy water from his planned explosion shot out of the water, Finch calmly took the slacks off, thus leaving him clad only in his boxer undershorts below the waist. The women fans surrounding the hole immediately began cheering the reduction in his golfing attire, while many of the men decried such partial strip-artist measures as totally inappropriate in mixed company.

Finch cooly managed to make a crowd pleasing “amphibious” par on the hole. Later as he prepared to tee off on the fourteenth hole, many women fans called for him to hit his ball into the lake again. I don’t recall whether Patti also did so or not.That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

(Next time, some final points on obtaining autographs.)