Lynn Says

Tom and Brenda McDaniel weigh in on cancer experience

 

September 9, 2018



I'm appreciative that people are still sending cards/letters wishing me well in my chemo fights; but what is more important is the number of friends and relatives who have had cancer and survived. I didn't realize or had forgotten there were so many.

In the past, I've been one of those people who've done too many of those socially automatic replies when asked, “How are you doing,” with my programmed answer being the “Oh, I'm just fine, how are you?” and then moving on.

It's a safe mid-America way of being friendly while not committing too much time. Unfortunately, all of us have a few people as friends who never learned the appropriate shut-off valve time for the casual social encounter and we tend to flee when we see them coming. It's not that we don't like or value them, but often we don't have a spare 15 minutes.

I'm going to quote from cards written by both Tom and Brenda. In case you don't know, Tom, an attorney, practiced in Alva in the early '70s (I think) and then moved on to important corporate jobs in the OKC area. I was always flattered when they still had me come down and shoot fresh Christmas card photos for many years. Tom later returned for a too-brief period as president of NWOSU. He implemented numerous NWOSU/community friendly policies that made him beloved in the job.

I appreciate that he urged me to continue to write about my cancer experience. He said, “Your willingness to share this experience will provide much encouragement and understanding to others. My first diagnosis was in 2004, and I continue to be thankful for every day in 2018. We are praying for you.”

Brenda, also a dear friend, encouraged me, “We have so enjoyed reading your articles about your battle with cancer because Tom has battled it so many times. I do not think we could have done it without Jesus by our side so many times. Our prayers are with you.”

I do not reprint these kind letters to pat myself on the back. I am finding that I had no idea how important this daily encouragement helps. A couple of months ago, Dr. Self asked, “How are you doing psychologically?” I said, “About normal. It's just another battle to tackle.”

Since then, I have learned that day after day of constant pain and exhaustion is a major factor and some days I dread fighting another round. I simply did not properly sympathize with others who are tolerating the pain of cancer. I was clueless.

So remember, I'm not the only one out there. Most don't have a personal column of their own. That's why I frequently contact people who have written for permission to quote.

In my past 15-hour work days, I've had a lot of stamina. Now maybe today I can work one hour. Then I’ll get a letter from halfway across the country, such as this one. That will use my one hour today but I love it because it is such a spirit boost, so I value any surprise support that suddenly appears ... usually in the form of a card.or letter. It provides an unexpected life-boost.

I'm also so appreciative of the Alva School administration in allowing us to continue our 45-year school contract, which permitted us to move Kat and Trey from Phoenix to Alva. All small towns need fresh young people.

 

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