Congratulations to the Alva Kiwanis members on their longevity
October 20, 2019
Jack Fisher and Richard Ryerson have been members of the Alva Kiwanis for 59 years. The Kiwanis do a lot of good in the community. I never got to be a member because I couldn't master the secret handshake.
The Oklahoma legislators have gotten a $12,000 raise (35%). True, this is their first raise in 20 years, but you need to give something to the people in return and frankly, they haven't shown me any need for a raise yet. Two years ago their salaries were cut 9% because of a lack of faith in their skills. How many of you think they are doing a 35% better job today? Silly rabbits! What a gig!
They work four months out of the year, and all they have to do for their money is maintain the worst roads in the country, starve out and make correctional officers’ lives dangerous, keep our health care in the dark ages, make laws they cannot even explain, sell off our state parks, and keep teachers on welfare. There is more, but you get the idea of why the raise is criminal. Here's a plan: Let's give the same raise I got on Social Security (money I actually earned), and the same raises they give our state employees (money they actually earn).
I was really excited when I read Fred Sanford was running for president. Sadly, it was not Fred but a guy named Mark Sanford. Mark is white, Republican, and had a suit. Fred Sanford was none of these. For those wondering who Fred Sanford was, it was Redd Fox in an old sitcom, "Sanford and Son." The guy and his son ran a junkyard, and had many happenings, not unlike the soap opera "Jim and the Cats" airing locally on Fair Street. Sanford's campaign didn't start too well. When he announced his intention to run for president, only one guy, a Democrat; one news reporter; and two cameramen showed up. Have faith, Mark, it is all downhill after that start. If you will come to Alva, me and the cats will come listen to you.
Some salvage yard comedy. I bought an SUV. I went to get it and the key was gone. Went back, no key and the light bars had been stolen, but I got it loaded. And when I unloaded it, I fell out of my pickup in an awkward "Jim moment," then ran over my step ladder. As it unloaded it caught on the truck bed and tore off the front bumper. I am scared to get close to it because it may not be done attacking me.
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.
I have found the key to happiness: Surround yourself with animals and stay away from idiots.
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