My alter-ego is a second-grade teacher. Mr. Tyree (sir) spends his days encouraging 7 and 8-year olds to read, write legibly, and remember their mathematical fact families.

Perhaps as important as those academic endeavors, though, is the day-to-day safe-keeping of little boys and girls. Mr. Tyree picks them up from the cafeteria, where they’ve gathered for a brain strengthening breakfast and makes sure they are safe and sound throughout the day until they head back home. In order for Mr. Tyree to have the honor of doing such things, he has to be deemed competent, compassionate and felony free....