Your kids are watching, hopefully
March 17, 2021
Last weekend, I pulled a pitcher half full of tea from the refrigerator. I sort of lost my grip, bumped it on the counter and spilled the entire contents on the kitchen floor. My granddaughter grabbed a couple of towels to soak up the mess. The impact with the counter shattered the bottom of the plastic pitcher so I was busy picking up sharp plastic shards.
To help the towels soak up the liquid, I began walking around on them and straightening out the folds. My young 21-month-old great grandson was watching and decided to help. He moved the towels around and walked on them, too.
I’ve noticed that his mother always has him help clean up the messes he makes. So he’s learning to help others clean up also.
Children learn a lot by watching their parents and helping with various chores and activities. I think farm kids get the best education. They learn about household chores but also learn how to care for animals and crops. Those that participate in 4-H and FFA learn about following rules (contest entries). All those skills translate well to adult life.
When my daughter found herself with seven kids (his, hers and ours), assigning chores was a matter of family survival. It meant she spent a lot of time reminding and overseeing, but the youngsters also learned some valuable life skills.
I wonder sometimes what modern youngsters are missing as they spend so much time playing video games on their phones, texting and checking social media. Are they still learning from watching and helping their parents?
I found this checklist of things our children should learn before going out on their own:
1. Do laundry, from start to finish.
This includes basics, like reading garment labels, sorting by color or fabric, and knowing when to use the delicate cycle. If your child will be visiting laundromats, walk them through one beforehand and be sure to point out the change machine.
2. Shop for and make a meal.
If a dorm room is in your child’s near future, their microwave is about to become a go-to cooking tool. Prior to leaving your home, have your child pick up a few canned soups, frozen entrees, and instant noodle and rice dishes to experiment with (let them do this alone to experience grocery shopping).
3. Make their doctor/dentist/general appointment.
Half of the parents in one poll said their 18-year-old didn’t know how to schedule a doctor appointment, even though it’s probably one of the most important life skills for adults.
4. Apply for a job or a gig.
This is the first step on the road to employment, followed by well-written cover letters and comprehensive résumés. For some extra fun, subject them to a few interview questions. They’ll love it.
5. Open a new account.
Maybe it’s a gym membership, library card, credit card, or bank account –either way, your child will be opening up new accounts in their name at some point along the way.
6. Create a monthly budget and then live on it.
Whether you’re providing financial assistance or your child is officially on their own, it’s essential to their success that they learn to track their spending and live within their means.
7. Learn how to tip.
Next time you dine out, challenge your child to calculate a 15- to 20-percent tip without using their phone.
8. Bank online and in person.
Can they log in to their account online and check their balance? Transfer money from savings to checking? Deposit money, using the drive-up window? Walk into the bank and not feel surprised to see all the employees behind a wall of thick plastic?
9. Pay bills.
Be it a tuition bill or cell phone bill, if your kid is financially responsible for paying it, make sure they know how to log on to payment portals, set up auto-pay, or schedule reminders for when bills are due.
10. Learn how to mend something or sew on a button.
This is an easy way to help your child save a few dollars on clothing repairs and new clothing in general. Buttons pop off, and seams rip.
11. Get a driver’s license.
If your child already has their driver’s license, make sure they know that it will expire and will eventually need to be renewed. If your child is taking a set of wheels to their next destination, put the responsibility of car ownership on them before they drive off. Let them buy and refill the washer fluid, check the tire pressure, replace a wiper blade, and get an oil change.
12. Use a map or an app to go somewhere new.
Your kids (and probably you, too) rely on Google Maps to get them places, but what happens if their phone dies? Or their GPS’ quickest route goes through the worst part of town?
13. Talk to someone in customer service to solve a problem.
Next time technology breaks at your house, give your 18-year-old the joyful task of calling to get it fixed.
14. Ask a stranger for help.
Admitting help is needed – whether it’s to a professor or coworker – intimidates even the most confident of souls.
15. Memorize their social security number.
There is no escaping the need to memorize this nine-digit number. The alternative is your child carrying around the actual card or keeping a picture of it on their phone, which works great until that phone or card gets misplaced.
16. Use public transportation.
The most affordable mode of transportation is public, so get your 18-year-old acquainted with the bus and subway routes nearby as well as how to buy tickets to ride.
17. Write, address, and mail a letter.
No doubt they’ll insist “no one sends actual mail anymore,” but indeed, humans do still use snail mail to communicate. In fact, the US Postal Service reports that 187.8 million pieces of mail are delivered every day, and sooner or later one of those pieces of mail will come from your child.
18. Return something to the store.
It sounds like a no-brainer, but returning an unwanted, damaged, or ill-fitting item is a regular part of life. Make sure your kid feels comfortable doing it.
19. Vote.
Step one, have your 18-year-old register to vote before they leave home. If your child will be moving out of state, they can mail an absentee ballot if they’re registered to vote in their home state.
20. Take over a chore a parent usually does.
There are probably dozens of chores your child can take off your plate. Maybe it is actually taking your plate and clearing and cleaning all the dishes after meals. Or taking out the garbage and recycling on the designated day. Perhaps it’s cleaning the bathroom. Or vacuuming and dusting. Hey, how about mowing the lawn!
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