Can’t you just picture it in your head?

Colonel Worthington Worm called his tactical team together in a planning meeting one balmy evening in Oklahoma.

“Attention, majors. We are officially at war. Our mission before us here in Oklahoma: To destroy and annihilate every lawn that we can. Each of you will be dispersed across the state with a company of soldiers. Your job is to direct lines of offense in your designated sector that will completely terminate every blade of living grass of the lawns in this state. In the next sixty seconds each of you will receive your separate orders by regular li...