I hate some people … in theory

Don’t you just hate some people?

I was driving down the boulevard the other day, when I was cut off by someone who was clearly not paying attention where they were swerving.

I barely had time to react before hitting my brakes and raising my voice.

“Watch out, idiot!”

Of course, then I had to answer to my 5-year-old middle child, who already takes on some of my more charming personality traits.

“Daddy, why did you caww them a idiot?”

I laughed a little to myself.

“Well, they almost cut us off! They need to be smarter next time, huh?” I asked her.

She agreed.

“Yeah … idiot.”

Then the back-and-forth began. Don’t call people idiots. But you called them an idiot! Yeah, but I shouldn’t have said that. Then why did you say it? Because I got mad. So, you can call people idiots when you get mad? No … just … never mind. We’re almost home.

I laughed to myself about it later that night. Then I laughed again when I realized I had no idea who that person was that cut me off. Then I laughed again when I realized it could’ve been someone from my church who I love and respect! I’m just glad they didn’t see or hear me.

I’ve found that I do this a lot and I doubt I’m the only one.

I make up hypothetical reasons to hate hypothetical people in the world who I assume hate me back … hypothetically.

And yet, anyone I take the time to know and develop a relationship with I couldn’t possibly hate.

Maybe at first, sometimes. But then empathy usually wins out in the end. I learn enough about people, I think about what it’s like to walk in their shoes, maybe even hear their stories enough to realize.

I don’t hate them. And they don’t hate me. We’re all just trying to figure out the best way to live this life and spend time with the people we care most about.

Maybe that’s what it takes. Maybe this world hates each other in theory because we don’t really spend time together. And maybe we don’t spend time together because we assume people feel the same about us.

That’s love, I guess. It knows nothing of theory.

 

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