“Tell me. Given the choice, which would you prefer: happiness while your friends are in pain, or to share in their suffering?” – from “Ajax,” by Sophocles

In the course of our lives, we will experience a certain amount of pain ourselves, but given the network of relationships that society fosters, it is more likely that we will witness more suffering in others. Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on our own good fortune, a time to celebrate the holiday with family and friends, and to remember those who are not so blessed.

Sophocles’ “Ajax,” an ancient Greek drama, was a form of communal therapy and a process meant to reintegrate combat veterans. Sophocles himself was a general and understood the psychological and physical injuries that prevent some individuals from maintaining their dignity, identity and honor.

All of these apply to the civilian population as well and we, as caregivers designated or not, are challenged each day to do the right thing. How do you approach someone in mourning? What do you say to someone with a terminal diagnosis? Can you be comfortable visiting friends in the nursing home? All of these are situations where it is difficult to put yourself in the other person’s place. “Where they are, someday I may be,” and coupling the odds of illness and accident with daily living, it may be sooner than you think.

Those in need are not there to afflict the comfortable, but it should become second nature for us to comfort the afflicted.