This month, the world is engrossed with its favorite sport. Football. Of course, we’re not talking about good old American, Friday night, do or die, pom-poms and marching bands football. The sport in question is commonly referred to as “soccer” by we ugly Americans. Some of the greatest soccer teams on the planet are representing their home countries in one massive tournament, of which I have watched about 5 minutes total. I hear the USA women’s team is amazing, but my short attention span coupled with 90 minutes of people kicking a ball and rarely scoring is a bad match (get it? Bad match? So...