Today I want to address a concept that was incredibly difficult to get my head around, but that once I did, completely changed how I see many things in life.

Can you find inspiration and motivation in someone you don’t like or admire? In someone you despise? I have contemplated this issue for some time, and I have found that there are really two ways in which you can discover incredible inspiration and motivation in someone you may not like.

The first way is to look at the negative traits in someone and find your inspiration there. The other is looking for and finding something positive in such a person and using that to your advantage.

Today, I am addressing the latter.

Generally, I try to be a positive person and do my best not to focus on the worst in someone, and even then, try not to say much about it. Unfortunately, sometimes you just have to call it like it is.

About 10-15 years ago I had to repeatedly deal with a gentleman (not a client) that was in his mid-60s but appeared mentally and physically to be in his mid-80s. He was cynical, negative, biased, prejudiced, narrow-minded, and small-minded. In short, he considered anyone who didn’t think precisely as he did to be an idiot, an imbecile, or incompetent. Because of his limited view of the world, very few people met with his approval. As a result, he didn’t have use for most people (ironic as it may sound, I actually liked him).

About the same time as I was dealing with this gentleman, I was working on becoming a more positive and optimistic person, but I was struggling to find specific inspiration to make this change.

One day, as we were visiting, out of nowhere, it dawned on me; while I didn’t know where to find the positive inspiration I had been looking for, sitting right in front of me was what I will call negative inspiration. What I saw in this man was everything I did not want to be.

So, beginning at that very moment, I spent the next several years focusing on each negative or cynical thought he had, and I would sear or brand into my brain and psyche that he was everything I didn’t want to be, or better yet, everything I loathed to be. I would often spend a quiet moment or two each day thinking about the negativity in this man, and consciously teaching myself to be everything he was not.

Immediately, my view of the world began to change. While it may seem counterintuitive, I found great inspiration in using negativity to encourage positive change.

So, if you are struggling to find inspiration, take a look at the dark side. Turn your perspective 180 degrees and use it to your advantage. Next week I will discuss finding the positive traits in someone you may not like.