Alva Review-Courier -

We seem to live in a neighborhood with a sizable population of ants. At least that’s what some neighbors and former neighbors have told me. Whether or not that’s true, our house is periodically invaded by the tiny critters. I’ve beat back ant invasions in both downstairs and upstairs bathrooms, closet clothes hampers, bedding and areas of the kitchen.

Around a week ago, the ants reappeared on kitchen counters bounded by the sink and the electric range. It was about 11 p.m. when I arrived home from a long work day. I pulled out my trusty can of ant spray and some paper towels for disposing of those who died on the battlefield.

With everything removed from the affected area, I went to work. Of course, I’m not happy about poisonous ant spray on my kitchen counters, so after dousing every living ant in sight, I washed down the area with kitchen cleaner.

At times the numbers seemed reduced, but the ants kept reappearing. I sprayed cabinet baseboards although I couldn’t locate how the little insects were entering the house.

Every morning when I arose and every night when I returned from work, I was greeted with trails of ants. When the counters seemed a bit too noxious, the ants detoured to the sink. I grabbed a jug of bleach and poured it all over the porcelain. That seemed to work, so I swabbed the counters with bleach. The next evening, I found a tiny trail of ants marching along the edge of the electric range. Apparently I missed a spot.

When the countertops became no ant land, the insects invaded the first level of cabinets directly above. The shelves held pantry-type supplies such as canned and boxed foods along with some empty plastic containers.

First I found ants inside a bottle of avocado oil. I bought it when trying various cooking oils such as olive and coconut. The avocado oil went in the trash after a quick water rinse.

After more forays on the countertops, the ants again invaded the same cabinet shelf. This time they were attracted to the boxes of bar-type snacks. I had a couple of Atkins diet brand with chocolate, some chocolate covered granola cereal bars, and others.

The ants were crawling on all the boxes, including a box of water pitcher filters. However, they absolutely swarmed around the Atkins chocolate coconut bars. I used water to remove the ants which generally ruined the cardboard boxes. The wrapped bars inside were also rinsed and placed in plastic bags before going into the refrigerator.

And where was my helpful husband in all this? He relaxed in his recliner when he wasn’t standing by making comments about bringing in the “big guns” and getting out a Hazmat suit.

Sunday morning, I was looking for a fast breakfast before church after about five hours of sleep. Waiting for football results kept me working until 3 a.m. The Atkins chocolate-coconut combo sounded perfect. I took a couple of bites washed down with iced coffee. I peeled the wrapper further, and some crumbs fell into my hand.

Upon closer inspection, the “crumbs” turned out to be two comatose ants. I’m not sure if they were still breathing. I’m not into resuscitating insects, so I quickly threw them in the trash. The bag of Atkins bars followed. I haven’t checked on the other refrigerated bars yet.

I don’t think these ants wanted to lose weight via the Atkins diet, but they sure seemed to enjoy the food.

However, they made a big mistake. Never attack a woman’s chocolate! They’re goners!