Alva Review-Courier -

Have you ever been dragged into a one-sided chat that droned on with no end in sight? There is an art to extracting yourself graciously without insult or injury.

According to Elizabeth Bernstein in the Wall Street Journal, “A conversation is like driving on the freeway. There are certain points where you are allowed to enter or exit without doing considerable damage.”

Research has shown that in just 2 percent of conversations, people manage to stop talking at the same time. To survive, rats practice “escape conditioning.” When bored, they require a trigger to take action. I’m not recommending an electric shock to break the dialogue, but sometimes you do think, “Just shoot me!” Peter Wagner in the WSJ article uses the comment: “We’ve just about exhausted my interest in this topic. What else have you got?”

Listening is a gift and many times you are glad you did, but the best way to end a boring talk is to redirect it. Introducing a different subject can sometimes break the monotony, improving your attention span. Ideas include expressing gratitude by adding “It was nice catching up,” or providing a polite excuse such as the keeping of an appointment. You may also offer to reconnect later.

Another excuse is to say, “I have to leave but want to hear the end of your story before I do.” I once became so frustrated I said, “I can’t follow what you are saying and, besides, I don’t care.” But “that ain’t no way to treat a lady.” –Helen Reddy, 1975.