Alva Review-Courier -

Merry Christmas to all


December 20, 2020

I hope it is good for you. If you want to give me a present, thank you. Either leave it on your porch or mine, and I will spray it with Lysol and then open it. I use peppermint scent, so the cookies have a little extra flavor. I hope everyone uses caution and common sense at their gatherings. If you are going to get together, caution the kids not to hug Granny unless they have a mask on or are in a 20 mph wind.

Cleo would like to have an abbreviated Christmas morning breakfast. The jury is still out on whether we will have it. It is even more important this year to let your kids know the real meaning of the holiday. Without Jesus and God, I fear our world is doomed. Many thanks to all the people that helped make it a better Christmas for those less fortunate.

I figured out my cat, “Claws,” is a Democrat. He always expects me to feed him, let him in and out, and clean up after him, and he doesn't even catch mice to repay me. He may have even voted in this last election.

I was channel surfing the other night and got in on part of “It's a Wonderful Life” with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed. I got there just after the money was lost, and George Baily wishes he had never been born. It is strange, but I used to watch it without a box of Kleenexes close at hand. Sometimes when you are feeling down and have a few minutes to look back on how many lives you have altered with your time on earth, it will surprise you.

On one serious note, it is so sad that people making six-figure salaries have stalled around on helping the struggling people in our country. This is a travesty of major proportions.

It's time for my favorite Christmas joke of all time. Baptists, please forgive me.

Three men get to heaven on Christmas Eve. St Peter says they can come in but cannot attend the Christmas Eve party because they have nothing to offer the Lord. One guy thinks a minute and pulls out his car keys and jingles them.

"What do these symbolize?” asks St Peter.

“These are the bells of Christmas” is the reply.

“Very imaginative; you may go to the party.”

The second man pulls out his lighter, flicks it, and says this is the light of Christmas.

“Go on to the party,” says St Peter.

The third guy searches his pockets a couple of times. Finally, on the third try, he reaches way down deep and pulls out a pair of lady's underwear.

Eyebrow raised St Peter asks, "What do those signify?”

These are Carols, was the reply!


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